American society is often quick to adopt the newest and latest technology, tools, and methods. We are known for being a consumer society with no firm attachments to our “stuff.” Unfortunately, that often includes our senior citizens as well.
Our society has moved into a place where dual incomes are necessary, in most cases, to have the lifestyles we want, or in some cases just to survive. Our current time, with all its advances for women, has wreaked havoc on an ancient family structure in which the elderly were cared for by their families, usually in a family home, usually by a female stay-at-home caregiver. (Not that women shouldn’t have the opportunities we do, I’m just stating that our current societal structure has changed the family structure dramatically.)
Many of our seniors live alone in their homes, move to assisted living, or are placed in nursing homes. Many of our children, born to parents who are older by choice of delaying the start of their families, have very little contact with elderly people. What results is a generation of young people with very little contact with the elderly.
What happens when we don’t interact with people who are different from us? We often come to fear or de-value them.
What happens when we don’t create relationships with people who are vulnerable? The vulnerable become invisible and suffer the lack of caring and oversight.
I have witnessed this first-hand as a Girl Scout leader. After convincing my girls that we should make holiday cookies (as part of a cooking badge) to take to a nursing home and then spend time singing Christmas carols and mingling, I was saddened to see how little experience the girls had with the elderly. They feared them. Some were disgusted by them. Some looked on them with pity. Some laughed at them. (Thankfully they were perfectly behaved while in the company of the elderly, but this was what they revealed after we left.) None of them wanted to go back and visit them again.
As these Girl Scouts grew older, they were more receptive to some of our interactions with the elderly, but it was clearly evident that many of them had very little contact with seniors in their daily lives.
What can we do to help our children value the elderly among us?
1. Many churches have an elderly population. The Church offers a wonderful opportunity to bridge generation gaps. Change your seat, say hello to a senior, and sit with some of the charter or senior members of your congregation. Ask them about how your church got started. Listen to their stories. You’ll be amazed. They’ll feel valued and appreciated.
2. Make a point to look for those elderly among your neighbors who might need a hand with raking the leaves, snow shoveling or carrying in the groceries. Then take your children show them what it means to be a servant of Christ.
3. Be a model of friendliness to and respect for the elderly. Show your children how it is done.
4. Visit the elderly in your family or congregation. Ask questions about their lives when they were young and then encourage your children to listen to their stories instead of disappearing to another room. They have a lot of wisdom and some very funny anecdotes to share, even if they’ve shared it before.
I like to think that my children’s lives have been enriched by their interactions with the many elderly people in their lives. I think they would agree with me, even if they grumble along with me about another weekend of raking leaves or morning of shoveling snow.
Leviticus 19:32 “Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord.”
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