Love and Approval

When children know that they are loved unconditionally, they move through their lives with confidence and a willingness to explore, take chances, and grow.  They make mistakes and learn from them.  They do not always need approval as they are confident that they are loved even if they fail.

On the other hand, children who do not believe that they are loved no matter what, will often engage in attention seeking behavior or in activities that seek approval, living in fear of failure, afraid to take risks and grow.  They are afraid make to mistakes and fear the loss of love and approval because of their failures.

I was reading an article in The Lutheran magazine (April 2011) by Peter W. Marty, a Lutheran pastor in Davenport, Iowa.  In the article he states, “Unconditional love must never be confused with unconditional approval.”

Approval is fleeting; unconditional approval is meaningless.  Whether you did a great job or a crappy job, hey it’s all okay, right?   Unconditional approval means nothing.  Actually, it means you don’t care.

Unconditional love is…well unconditional and unending; there are no strings attached.  It means you care for that person more than anything else, no matter what.

Most parents strive to love their children unconditionally.  I think that is part of the makeup of a parent.  However, I’m sure there are times when even the best of us fails to uphold that “unconditional love” clause in the parenting agreement we make with God when we are blessed with a child.  Our own sinfulness gets in the way of perfectly loving our children.

God does love unconditionally.  No matter what.  We are His children and His love is perfect; there are no strings attached.  We are forgiven when we screw up simply because of His Grace, His undeserved forgiveness and unconditional love.  God’s love is a perfect love.

This does not mean we receive unconditional approval from God.  He is rightfully and justifiably disappointed in us when we choose sin over love, when we choose the world over Him.  But like a perfect parent, He loves us still, no matter what.

He loves us so much “that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him might have eternal life.”  John 3:16.  That is a perfect love.

As we move through Lent and reflect upon our lives, contemplate this image of God as the perfect parent, loving and forgiving us, no matter what.  If we accept this as the truth for our lives, how can we not live as confident, adventurous, fearless children of God, loving others as He first loves us?

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